In 2008 during a rebellious phase I not only cut all of my hair off, but I also got two tattoos on my neck. The first one was a heart with a peace sign in it. It was a birthday gift from a friend. That same friend also got the peace and love sign tattooed on her neck. Why a heart with a peace sign in it? At that time in my life I was beginning to actually notice myself. The person I was on the inside as opposed to the character I was programmed to want to be.
I had begun to abstain from popular music, main stream media and was instead more interested in getting to know who I really was. That moment in life was all about quiet introspection. It was about peace within and love within. With that in mind, the tattoo, kinda just happened.
A few months later I found myself back in the tattoo parlor having the original tattoo expanded upon. To this day, I honestly cannot tell you what I was thinking when I got it. All I know is, I have it now.
Would I call it a mistake? No. Definitely not! Would I say I regret it? No! Can I honestly say there have never been moments when I asked myself, “Sunshine, what the heck are you doing with a tattoo on your neck?!” No I can’t say that. There have been times when I questioned the decision to get it. There were times when I felt really ashamed of it and didn’t want people to see it.
But, those days are over. When I got saved, I learned that God loves me. As many grains of sand there are on the beach are the number of thoughts he has about me. He knitted me together in my mother’s womb and he made me unique and special with a very unique and special purpose. This is true even today. It’s not like there is clause in the Bible that says God loves me, but now he loves me less because I have a tattoo. He knew who I was even before I did. He knew this was going to happen. And he knew that it wouldn’t be until after I got the tattoo that I would learn of how much he loves me.
Coming into this New Year, I made some decisions about behaviors and mindsets which no longer were working for me. One of the old tendencies I left in 2010 was my need to please other people with the way I dress, behave, etc. I decided to embrace who I was, as an individual. As an original. When I was created, I came complete with my own sense of style, my own taste in food, my own mannerisms and my own unique way of expressing myself. This includes the fact that I am the person who would have a tattoo on her neck.
Now that I have learned God loves me even though he knows all about me, I feel free to just be me. Whereas before I would try to calm down my eccentric nature, or my weirdness, I now embrace it and love the fact that I am me.
I now look at my tattoo as so appropriate for me. People have always misjudged me. Always. They have thought I was bourgeois, stuck up, prissy, a rich girl, a snob and a whole lot of other things which were far from the truth. Some people find me to be standoffish because I do not like to talk all the time. I would much rather observe. I get tired from too much talking and mingling so sometimes I just shut down. Which has been misjudged plenty of times. With my tattoo though, I think I throw people completely off. They do not know what to make of me. I am smart, articulate, well read, and beautiful, God fearing, classy, an entrepreneur and I have a huge tattoo on my neck!
I am not fearful at all of what anyone may have to say or think about my tattoo anymore. If someone judges me and determines my worth without talking to me, and purely based on my tattoo, it’s their loss!
Side Note:
A young lady once commented on my tattoo, she told me how she was contemplating getting one on her neck. She asked my opinion. I told her not to do it. I explained that people would judge her based on it. And that if she was going to be in the work world, employers would have the right not to hire her if they found the tattoo personally inappropriate. And for that reason I would not recommend it. I explained to her, that once I got my tattoo, I was committed to never work for anyone else and to make my own way. If she was not making the same commitment she should bypass the tattoo on the neck.
Although I am okay with mine and I am strong enough to handle what comes with it, I do not recommend a neck tattoo for just any ole body. It is a lifelong decision which should not be entered into lightly.
Great post, the part about being misjudged by others I can definitely relate.
ReplyDeleteOff the subject but I had to share, my friend sent me a video of how she wanted her hair cut because she was gonna cut her relaxer off to go completely natural and guess who was in the video "YOU" it was the video were you mentioned being in the essence mag, I was so happy that she was inspired by you and once I told her your the one that makes the shea butter she loves so much she was surprised. She did it yest and it looks beautiful, I told her about the natural sunshine site but don't think she has joined as yet but if you want to see it I can email it to you.
@Luvshea- Yay! I am so excited your friend got her hair cut and was somewhat inspired by me. That is such great news to hear. I would love to see her picture.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting! More shea butter will be coming soon.
Hey, I know you talk about your business which you run online, but I've been wondering, what is the website. I'd really like to check it out.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this! I have five tattoos and want more...None on my neck, but I've got 'em on my wrist, leg, upper back, etc. I love God and KNOW He loves me. I'm somewhat of a "weirdo" in my family because of the tatoos, natural hair, and (former) piercings (well...before I swallowed my tongue ring). I had to come to peace with the fact that I even wanted tattoos and then just did it! I know God knows the inner woman, and these markings are only expressions of the strange girl I am! A lot of people tell me they're shocked have tatts and I don't seem like "the type," whatever that means. :D I believe as long as I'm true to myself and make sure I'm pleasing my Father at the end of the day, then all is well...
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