How I Failed the Love Spell Challenge
Originally posted September 11, 2010
If this title means nothing to you, watch this before proceeding any further!
According to my husband, I didn’t fail. He says that as long as he is okay with me and is not upset by what I have said then I have not failed. I believe I failed because I was talking smack to him. Even before I opened my mouth to say what I said I felt in my heart it was wrong.
Let me paint the scene for you.
Four o’clock in the morning I am awakened by my husband turning on the bedroom light, waving one of the baby’s diapers at me saying something about there being diapers around the house. Four. In. The. Morning.
Then he begins to change the baby’s diaper, mind you baby is asleep up until M picks him up and begins to change him. Baby starts whining and softly crying. M continues changing the diaper. Then he puts the baby back to bed. Baby begins screaming at the top of his lungs. M turns off the light and leaves the room.
Baby is still screaming. Each screams louder than the one before. I am lying in bed thinking “You have got to be kidding me! It’s 4:00 in the morning and this man just came in, turned on the lights, proceeded to complain to me about something and then left the baby screaming at the top of his lungs.”
So I laid there for a while battling with myself about what I should do.
Satan was on my left shoulder saying, “How dare he! Why does he ALWAYS act like, when he is up, the whole house has to be up?! Why was he complaining about the diaper? Isn’t he the same person who will hardly ever
The Holy Spirit was on my right shoulder saying, “Pick the baby up and console him while his daddy is downstairs fixing the bottle. Then, perhaps you can address how the entire scene upset you when you are not in the moment! Calm down! Just pick up the baby and console him. It will be all right.”
In that moment I was weak. I was tired from the week. I just wanted some rest. I allowed Satan to use
I went downstairs with a pillow in hand with two objectives 1. Snap on my husband and give him a piece of my mind for what he had just done. And 2. Sleep on the couch so he would have no choice other than to wake up and take care of the baby when he woke up crying in a couple hours. I wanted him to suffer!
I rationalized that I was ALWAYS the one who has to get up early in the morning (on weekends) when the baby gets up. I NEVER get to sleep in. M on the other hand stays up all night and then sleeps late on the weekends
Also I had made up my mind not to get up anymore when the baby cried. I decided I was going to let the baby’s cries progress to full fledge screams until M had to get up and take care of him. As I walked down the stairs to confront M, Satan and I had hatched a full plan on how to get back at M.
I did what I had set out to do! I yelled. I lay down on the couch and I stewed!
But I didn’t feel any better afterwards. I felt horrible! Once I calmed down, I immediately felt awful. Awful at what I had said, awful about how I treated the baby in that moment.
So I went up to our bed. I put the baby back in his bed (since he had fallen asleep in his dad’s arms) and I prayed. I asked God to forgive me for what I had done. I thanked him for the baby, who when he isn’t sick, is the
Today I know what I must do to be successful with the challenge. I must make a plan. Stay focused. And spend more time with the Lord so I am not as weak when Satan gives me his input on a situation. I am ready to complete this challenge. God help me!
This was awesome to read. The battle flesh vs. Holy Spirit. Buit what I learned from this testimony is even right after you prayed....didn't keep letting anger brew. I so need to do this even after I fall...what better time to do it? Keep up the good work SIS!
ReplyDeleteCan-da-see- I am glad you enjoyed this post!
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